I envy those of you who have had digital cameras for years because you probably have all of your pictures on disc or on file in your computer. Not me. I only got my digital camera a year or two ago. This picture of John and I was taken probably about 7 years ago by a friend of mine in my hometown at her daughter's birthday party and I had to take a picture of it to get it on the computer! It is my favorite picture because1. This is how I think I still look in my head (which is why I still do a double take in the mirror or whenever I see the pictures I just took...),2. It was a spontaneous shot. We were actually sitting like that when Lori said something and we looked and she snapped,3. John has his "real" smile on. I don't understand it he smiles hundreds of times a day probably - but stick a camera in his face and he can't remember how to do it. So most of my pictures of him look like someone else. And finally. 4 it was taken at such a happy time in my life. I am still happy but that was a different kind of happy - like childhood happy looking back. Things had been pretty easy to that point and we were still at home and surrounded by childhood friends and family. Now we are happy in a deeper more settled way. Anyway that is my favorite picture of us and since I've had requests for pictures of John. I figured I might as well post the best one I had! That picture was taken with black and white film actually (that was "back in the days..."). John pretty much still looks the same - only grayer and a little older.. and many days a lot tireder. Like me. And we've spread. (John's "spread" look a LOT better than MY "spread," though.. it's so not fair.) Even our faces have spread. Which is why I don't recognize myself anymore but lets not talk about that. ;) I think we have officially moved into our "middle aged bodies." But I figure it's only downhill from here so I'm enjoying what I've got at the moment ha ha!Last night was one of those happy nights. It's getting dark earlier of course and the kids were tired so we lit some candles had early baths put on pj's and made dinner. It was good we ate together then I made hot cocoa. (by the way check out the sidebar for the recipe... Beck said it was "," so I tried it. Yeah it's the best cup of hot cocoa I've ever had too. But you have to check out the link provided to fully enjoy it - and then you have to use "Carnation" brand.. go read and you'll understand!)Everyone was happy and relaxed. Later on I was headed out to run one last quick errand of the day while John tucked everyone in. That old Shania Twain song came on the radio and it made me smile...
"Looks like we've made it,Look how far we've come my baby,I'm glad we didn't listen,Look at what we would be missin',They said. 'I bet they'll never make it,'But just look at us holdin' on,We're still together still goin' strong. You're still the one.."
John and I married very young. I was only 20 and still in college. He was just beginning law school. Some people counseled us to wait until he was done but we couldn't imagine waiting that long. I just wanted to be there when he came home at night. I wanted to cook for him and know where he was and go to bed at the same time under the same covers. So we married in the middle of a flurry of summer weddings at my church! I was either a bridesmaid or a bride for weeks on end. We rented a tiny little condo where we were either freezing or burning up for a year until we found a better one. John's parents helped with his education by paying the rent on the condo and I got a grant to finish school because we were so poor! John took out 2 loans for law school and we used every penny of them. As it turned out however we only had to pay back a fraction of it because as Providence would have it one of the loans was forgiven when he went into law enforcement (he was a prosecutor for roughly 10 years). So we laugh about our "free education!" Good anecdote bad reality. Financial stress is NOT fun and it's tough on a young marriage. We walked away from those first few years with quite a bit of credit card debt that took us years to pay off. Thank God for Mom who lived nearby and fed us several times a week and even brought groceries by unplanned and unasked for. At John's graduation. I was barely pregnant and nauseous our one car had died and our lease was up. We had no money left so John's parents gave him $1,000 for Father's Day for a down payment on 2 cars. But - we were still happy to be having this baby and we decided to look at her as a promise not a reason to fear. If God made her. He would provide for her. And He did. John stepped out of his internship into a paying job in the same office. Someone quit just in time for John to step in! There were 3 students interning and the staff took a vote - who should they hire? It was John and we were so grateful! Thus began an 8 year relationship that we'll always look back at with fond memories. Those were great friendships we made there and John built quite a reputation in that town for his prosecutorial skills over time. When he goes back now he's hailed as a celebrity - we left on a high note! :) It's good for his ego! The stories get bigger and more legendary the longer we're gone.. it's funny. Then came Courtney then we bought our first house thanks to my mom and dad who gave us a small down payment. (WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT OUR PARENTS? IN THE HOMELESS SHELTER???) Then came Claire. Fast forward 4 years and we found ourselves here pregnant once again with our last a boy. Fast forward 2 more years and we found ourselves HAPPY to be here. As Sarah put it so well today,Suddenly. I'm middle aged and the kids are half grown. John has some seriously graying hair. I'm 10 pounds heavier and we find ourselves mellowing a lot. Middle age is a comfortable place to be as far as I'm concerned. I have loved my thirties. There is a lot more in between those lines I just wrote.. but maybe another time.
I'm so happy to see a picture of your sweet husband. It was so neat to hear "stories of old ". and to look back on then and now. You looked great then and you look even happier now !! Enjoy where you are now !! Thanks for the great post !!
How I wish that you and I could get a cup of tea together. Maybe sit by the fire and share more of our stories. I know it would mostly be me listening to you trying to glean as much of your wisdom as I could!The picture of you and John is great. Although it's funny... I looked for the picture that you used to have up so I could see if you really DO look different but you changed that one too. :) Maybe it's good that we see you as you remember yourself to be?I really enjoy it when you tell your story. You've come a long way and learned a lot. It's an inspiration. I'm happy to hear that you are happy to be where you're at now. I know that you said it was rough at first. But now you're a 'more settled in' happy. That's wonderful. :)
Thanks for sharing. You have such a way with words. I love that you keep journals. I have tried just keeping tidbits but to be honest. I do well to just survive. I cannot keep plants and barely pets we currently have neither. But I LOVE my children fiercely and will go to the ends of the earth for them. Seems you would,too. Keep on sharing you encourage us all!
Renee,I DID change my picture and YES. I thought. "since this is how I feel this is what I'm putting out there! :)But if I ever do end up with a great picture of my present self. I'll be sure to put it up. Maybe I should put the other one back up too... I'm happy to be where I am. I really like being 36 so don't get me wrong. I do NOT want to be 26 again. I just like that picture. :)
What a sweet post. I love the picture and hearing the story of your early life. I too married at 20. Bob was 22. We thought we were so mature and ready for the world. Now I look at my kids (24,21,19) and think how young we were. God has truly been with us and with you two for these years!
I loved the journey back in time----a feeling of getting to know more of you. I love the short hair too. I am partial to short hair. Mine is at the longest it's ever been. Great picture too. :) I have lots from mine and Brett's dating days that I treasure. :)
I LOVED loved loved this post! I am so far behind in commenting on blogs but I just had to come and comment on this post!What a great story. What great memories to share with your children and it's so neat to see how God provided everything you needed but let you struggle too so that He could be glorified. SO cool. Thanks for sharing this. I loved reading it!
I loved reading your story. Dave and I were both 21 when we got married. I thought we were old - hah! I see people with babies now and I think. "they're not old enough to have kids" and then I realize they're in their mid to late 20's. Oops Maybe I'm older than I think I am!?
Hi Jennifer. I have been out of town and am just now catching up on your last few posts. This was a great post. I remember John describing how the student loans were forgiven one Sunday in Sunday school and that story is something that has been a source of inspiration for us ever since. About six months ago we were going through a difficult time and I told Mike. "remember the time that John and Jennifer fasted and prayed and..." Please keep relating those experiences of God's faithfulness -- you never know what kind of impact it has on someone else. Take care. Christy
Christy,It means a lot for me to receive a comment from someone who was actually there when these events occurred - and even farther back than that! Your words are a tremendous encouragement to me today. Thank you for taking the time to write. Jen
I'm Jennifer. I'm a daughter of grace living out my childhood dreams married to John my Prince Charming who swept me off my feet 18 years ago. I'm a SAHM to our children. Courtney (13). Claire(10) and Jack (5). I enjoy homeschooling them and we stay busy having fun with dance lessons ball practices and church activities. Together we have made a happy ordinary kind of life that is something to be truly grateful for. I hope one day my children will find in these "pages" a real woman with real struggles and real happiness along with the things God had for me to learn. I hope they will also discover those many places where I found God's grace all along the way! I hope they and anyone who reads will find truth encouragement freedom and certainly grace in my life and words. In the real world sometimes these things come easily and sometimes they come with difficulty. Wherever THEIR journeys take THEM. I hope that I can offer some real and solid encouragement here from my own experiences to help remind THEM to keep gathering God's grace all along their own way.
"History tells us that our best life is not our easiest life. Those men and women who were of the greatest service to God and to mankind were those who gave the most of themselves; those who endeavored not to avoid difficulties but to overcome them; not to seek comfort but to do what was necessary no matter how hard... Our greatest joy and satisfaction comes not from avoiding hard things but from joyfully embracing them."Alex and Brett Harris
I love.. my husband of 16 years who is my best friend the best man I know and the best daddy in the world,Courtney (12). Claire (10) and Jack (5) who are the joys of my life,kissing their sweet cheeks,the South,the color red,sweet iced tea no ice in a tall glass,reading,scrapbooking,staying up too late,talking to John before we fall asleep at night,sleeping late in the morning,organization!a clean sweet-smelling house,a cool darkened bedroom with the fan on during naptime,my pillows,fresh sheets and towels,music,sonic care toothbrushes (I'll never go back!),honeysuckle perfume,fall,darjeeling tea with a bit of honey and cream,jasmine tea,good food,pina coladas,a restaurant called Sugo,the beach,pedicures,Disney World,my Honda Odyssey,homeschooling,studying God's Word,the Church,talking to friends,all "my people!" .. friends and family you know who you are!.. and most of all. I love Christ Jesus who is truly my saving grace.
and when you lighten up life is a lot more fun."Richard Carlson"In the day of prosperity be joyful,But in the day of adversity consider:
The builders are working hard outside. Jack comes downstairs with his Bob the Builder toolbelt on. I am careful not to say. "Hey. Bob!" because according to Jack. "Bob is boring," and he is NOT to be Bob. Instead. I say. "Hey builder!" And he says. "NO! I'm NOT Bob the Builder! Call me
and said. "something like that? John thought for a minute stifled a laugh and said. "maybe it's
I love quotes.. they spill over into every nook and cranny of my life from conversations to journals to the blackboard in our kitchen.. my collection is quite eclectic! Here's a sampling...
"Earth's crammed with heaven,And every common bush afire with God,But only he who sees takes off his shoes -The rest sit around it and pick blackberries."Elizabeth Barrett Browning"He said true things but called them by wrong names."E. B. Browning"What some men call health if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet isn't much better than tedious disease."Alexander Pope"When I am slipping. I think. 'well isn't this interesting?'... It's being upright that bothers me... I am slipping into this glimpse.. I'm a slipping glimpser."Willem DeKooning"Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way."Jane Austen"Be a sinner and sin boldly but believe and rejoice in Christ even more boldly for He is victorious over sin death and the world."Martin Luther. August 1. 1521"Remember this... God loves you and your family loves you. Some days that will be all you have.
"(wise words from our pastor who was passing along to John over dinner some wisdom given to him when he was at our stage of life years ago...)"I don't pretend to understand the universe - it's a great deal bigger than I am... People ought to be modester."Thomas Carlyle. 1795-1881
"If you turn away your foot from the Sabbath,from doing your pleasure on my holy day and call the Sabbath a delight the holy day of the Lord honorable and shall honor Him not doing your own ways not finding your own pleasure nor speaking your own words then you shall delight yourself in the Lord and I will cause you to ride on the high hills of the earth and feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father. The mouth of the Lord has spoken." Isaiah 58:13-14
"Faith Alone"Q. Why do you say that by faith alone you are right with God?A. It is not because of any value my faith has that God is pleased with me. Only Christ's satisfaction righteousness and holiness make my right with God. And I can receive this righteousness and make it mine in no other way than by faith alone. Q. Why can't the good we do make us right with God or at least help make us right with him?A. Because the righteousness which can pass God's scrutiny must be entirely perfect and must in every way measure up to the divine law. Even the very best we do in this life is imperfect and stained with sin. Q. It is by faith alone that we share in Christ and all his blessings: where then does that faith come from?A. The Holy Spirit produces it in our hearts by the preaching of the holy gospel and confirms it through our use of the sacraments. (The Heidelberg Catechism. Questions and Answers 61. 62 and 65)
Odd things like a button drawer. MeanThings fishhooks barbs in your hand. But marbles too. A genius for being agreeable. Junkyard crucifixes voluptuousdiscards. Space for knicknacks and forAlaska. Evidence to hang me or to beatify. Clues that lead nowhere that never connectedanyway. Deliberate obfuscation the kindthat takes genius. Chasms in character. Loud omissions. Mornings that yawn abovea new grave. Pages you know existbut you can't find them. Someone's terriblyinevitable life story maybe mine.
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http://gatheringgrace.blogspot.com/2007/11/memory-lane.html
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